Friday, September 25, 2009

Riding and testing and riding and pizza.

This week has been biker heaven. Saturday night the UvU team rode the ulcer route at night. then monday I did some lactate threshold testing. Its by far the coolest testing Ive done thus far. nothing gives you data like a little finger prick action. The down side was that my legs were still fried from the maximum effort intervals that always seem to occur whenever the team gets together.
Wednesday I took a few of the team guys up the 8 mile stretch of brand new pavement of right fork. man that makes me happy. The descent is perfect. crank as hard as you can and use the whole road because you can see when cars are coming because of their headlights. Whats the downside you ask? Well the night is black, the road is black, and the cows up there are black, so you still have to pay attention or else you may be eating some steak tartar.
The next night I took a couple different guys up the same canyon. I was struggling to hold a wheel because my legs were gone again when the guy behind me yelled out. I flipped around and saw a marble size bump in his tire grow to a golf ball size bump right before my eyes.
pretty sweet (as long as its not my tire)
Well cross is 1 week away and I still need to glue up my tires and change my gear ratios up, hopefully Jason will be my carrot this year and race B's.
Oh yeah I forgot about my other testing I did. I'm totally fed up with the whole weight issue thing, ie getting called "BIG GUY" at Walmart. its freekin walmart the home of the 300 pounder. Even the chinese call me fat. My last fortune cookie, I kid you not said "YOU SHOULD EVALUATE YOUR EXERCISE ROUTINE" WTF! So I decided to really dig in and set up a diet/ excercise routine to get my revenge on the 8 year old punk in line to play the xbox at walmart. The test is: strap this to your melonPicture+023.jpg

and lie down for 20 minutes. Thats right boys, you go kill yourself with that VO2 max stuff, im gonna take a nap! The test calculated my resting metabolic rate at 2374 calories per day. That is the amount I burn just to stay alive and lie in bed all day. So with all these fancy shmancy testing devices and gps enabled caloric counters, Im gonna finally be in riding shape........... maybe,............... if I dont decide pizza is better than riding......again, (sigh)

Thursday, September 24, 2009

ITS MY ABSOLUTELY ALL TIME FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Honeymoon post


Well I did it. I got married on labor day weekend. It turned out a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Then to top it off my new wife got me suprise tickets to the olympic ski jumping practice pool. Its pretty fun. I spent 3 hours hiking the steps in ski boots and a wetsuit to do 3's and 7's into the pool. Initially I was a little apprehensive to go as it has been a long summer without skiis and I didnt really want to be in too much pain for fear I wouldnt be able to complete my other honeymoon duties, but the instructors make you complete baby steps until they feel your ready to hit the big ramps.
It felt like all day until we finally got to hit the mini ramp which is about 4 feet off the water. I really wanted to go up another level so on my second hit I threw down a 3 and got my upgrade.
The single ramp (named that because its built to do single flips on) was the exact same feeling as the mini, except you had quite a bit more hang time. The other difference was that the pool was aerated to break up the surface tension. That really does the trick as I came down almost completely sideways and it didn't even knock the wind out of me.
I talked to a coach up there who said he would charge 40 bucks for 6 hours. (I'm pretty sure I couldnt handle 6 hours of flips as three really tuckered me out. ) Saturday the 25th is the last day of the season and Im really itching to go back up and try some inverts. Anyone want to go?
video video
After the pool session Mrs T and I went up to try out the Olympic bobsled run. We signed the typical if your pregnant/back pain/heart trouble/ sue happy jack ass/pussy that cant handle being outside in any type of adventurous situation waiver, and went out with motorcycle helmets to stand in line.
The line was about 15 people long and when they called for volunteers to push the sled you know I was first to respond. after mushing 5 or 6 sleds it was our turn to hop in. At that point Id heard the instructions multiple times and ignored the instructors when they said that 4th seat was a little rougher than the rest.
We were launched off the line at what felt like 100 miles per hour and hit turn one with only minimal bouncing. Now the distance between turn one and turn three was not too far, but It was far enough and rough enough for me to decide that I wasnt having fun any more! My spine felt like I was being jack hammered into the concrete and I could no longer shrug my shoulders to steady my head which now weighed a massive 80 lbs + with the g forces. I was like a freekin bobble headed doll and every corner made me want to lay down and cry. For the first time in my life I signed a waiver for something that actually NEEDED A WAIVER! This was like the boy who cried wolf.
Well the 59 seconds It took to get down couldnt last forever and It finally ended. I pulled my thumb out of my mouth, just long enough to get a picture and check the stats. 69.8 mph and 4G's. When I asked Kat what she thought she said it was a little rough and that it took an hour for her vision to stop bouncing around. I couldnt imagine doing this in the winter on Ice, its 20 mph faster.
The last blog friendly (well at least this blog friendly) event on the agenda was dinner at Flannagen's. For those of you who havent been there Flanagans is a Irish pub on Main in Park City, nothin special, but the Irish drinking music makes it way fun to eat there, you really feel like a fight could break out at any minute. When I looked at the menu nothing sounded good except the burger. I decided against it and went with the Whiskey chicken Botsky. (Grilled chicken in a whiskey sauce wrapped in an Irish potato pankake). that it wouldnt be any good and I planned on sending it back for the avocado burger.
First bite: its ok I ll have one more and send it back: I can probably take another and send it back
third bite: this is pretty good
And after the last bite I wanted to have a second one instead of desert. I highly recommend this it will blow your mind. It will become a Park City staple every time I go up there.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Landis is by far my favorite doper! whos yours?




Look how excited I am to talk to Floyd! its like its freakin christmas. I know he is really funny lookin but that face Im making doesn't make me look very pretty either.
My goal for 1000 warriors was to not get time cut and to not wind up in the hospital. I managed to beat both goals the first by 40 minutes. As a side bonus I was able to beat two teammates who both on paper, and on training rides destroyed me. I know there teammates but I get so competitive that once I had a gap I just wanted to finish in front of them. (I wont mention that they were both suffering from inju
ries). Dans was an overuse injury of the hip joint, and Joel happened to get taken out by the same schmuck who punched me in the face. Oh did I not mention that story. Its ok because karma took care of my small stuff on the AF canyon decent.
Luckily I wasn't on karma's bad side on the suncrest decent. I hit 60 when the cross winds down the ravines hit my 60 mm deep wheels (i know im an idiot) The death wobble had me heading across two full lanes and straight for the metal guar
d rail. All I could think of was "get it slowed down to 20 before you crash and you will probably be ok" Luckily enough I got slowed down enough to stop the violent surging just in time to avoid another 3/4 month riding hiatus.
As far as the 9700 feet of climbing, yes it hurt. But I didnt think it hurt bad enough to push my bike up little cottonwood like I saw so many others doing.
It was really fun to race with a team, lots of help on the flats and the hills, not to mention the great support. Mason hooked us up with a freakin sweet pad to crash at in PC. SBR Kyle swapped out my cassette with 10 minutes to go time so I didn't have to push a 25 all day, And my little woman really did a great job handing out musette bags to us slow UVU boys.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Deep thoughts by jack handy

So since I havent been riding Ive had lots of time to sit around and think. The most important thing Ive been contemplating is washing your hands AFTER you go to the bathroom. Doesnt it make more sense to wash before you grab your junk with the hands that have been opening doors and shaking other peoples all day? Are you really more concerned about giving other people your coodies than getting every one elses?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

This is why I'm Phat!

This song sticks in your head like peanut butter on a hot bisquit

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Sugar House Crit

This year is my first year racing road, and many of the hours Ive spent on the trainer this winter were spent dreaming of the Sugar House Crit. This sounded like the best venue of the year with a wide, rolly course and lots of smooth fast corners.
When I woke up this morning I decided to get out on my bike and just see if I can tough it out, broken clavicle and all. Not gonna happen. Well I was so excited about this race that I drove up there just to watch. Thats really odd for me as I complain about having to drive to races that Im competing in.
Spent the majority of the time chatten with AG (yes Im a name dropper) about how I should probably stay in cat 5 forever that is at least until they come up with a cat 6 which when it happens I should go to the extent of changing my name, SS# and burn off my finger prints just to be able to get into that group.
Good to see some UVU team guys there even if they didnt race (cough cough ughh pussies cough) and some BYU guys who did race (cough pussies cough)
Got home and cranked out a massive 18.5 minutes on the trainer at 60% max heart rate....Man I should have raced with that kind of effort I would have smoked at least................well nobody. NICE
I know when I race I search high and low for some cat 5 vids on the web and never find any so I took some for everyone else who is obsessive compulsive such as my self. Enjoy